I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
