So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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