You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
