Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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