Duck Duck Cougar?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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