you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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