You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
