Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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