Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
