yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
