Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
