I need help removing her.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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