You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
