I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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