I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
