I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
