i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
