Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
