I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
