What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
