Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
where are my pants?
in the oven.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize