This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
