did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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