Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm bleeding and have questions
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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