I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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