you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
