he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize