I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Enjoy the penises
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
