I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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