I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
