I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
