Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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