I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
