Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
