I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
