I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
