i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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