i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
