are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
