I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
