There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
