I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I will die if light touches me.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
