Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
