like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
