We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
