He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
