I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
