So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You smell like a Billy Joel song
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
