If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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