Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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