her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
