So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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