I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Success! We fucked roommates!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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