Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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