At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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