that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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