plz talk dirty to me
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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