..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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