It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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