Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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