Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
