at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
