he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
